Updated: Aug 3
Whether or not we practice regularly, we know the need for self-care. According to the National Institute for Health, Self-care means making time to do things that help you live well and improve your physical and mental health. Regarding your mental health, self-care can help you manage stress, lower your risk of illness, and increase your energy. Even small acts of self-care in your daily life can have a big impact. I contend we need to prioritize Marriage-care too. It would mean incorporating activities to help us live well as a couple to enhance our physical and mental health. Similarly, focusing on our mental health would help us manage stress, lower the risk of illness, and increase our energy and life expectancy. Strong marriages don't just happen; the parties involved invest time, money, and effort into creating healthy marriages by overcoming difficulties.
Relationships are challenging. In addition to ensuring your needs are met, you are incorporating someone else’s needs into your life. There are also hopes, dreams, struggles, disappointments, families of origin, finances, intimacy, conflict management, and the quintessential question--how do you put the toilet paper on the roll?
When done well, marriage provides support, security, and companionship, making life stressors more bearable and successes even sweeter. Sometimes we hear that marriage shouldn’t take work or be hard. NOTHING in life is easy. Education, careers, parenting, spirituality, and living your values all take effort. However, you can implement systems to make life effortless, make mundane tasks pleasurable, or reduce the duration of hard times.
This month, we’re focused on Marriage-care and investing in relationships!
One tool we're introducing is a 75-Day Marriage Challenge. We'll start in mid-August.
What is the 75-Day Marriage Challenge? You may be familiar with the 75-Day Hard Challenges for your physical health. I completed one last year and loved the concept, although I questioned some requirements. While I'm an avid reader, my mode of choice is an audiobook. The challenge I participated in required a physical book. I would have completed books via my preference. I still wondered what applying the techniques to other areas of life would look like.
Why 75 days? It’s long enough to create new habits and not too long to get discouraged.
What are the requirements? There are three standard requirements and three custom requirements you and your spouse choose together. Explore the list of suggestions.
Some ideas for personal goals include:
Communicate often and properly
Go on a date at least twice a month
Start a saving culture and save for a vacation
Resolve conflicts promptly
Forgive each other and achieve unconditional love
Distribute household chores equitably
Outsource one task from your to-do list
Hire a night doula or sleep trainer to address the sleep habits of children
Seek counseling to overcome past hurts
Have the best sex you can
Take a stroll together during the weekend
Schedule monthly travel dates
Get along with each other’s parents and friends
Increase your spiritual growth
Fill each other’s love tank
Not feel pressured to be perfect and accept each other's flaws
Get on the same page about your future and support each other's dreams
Spend 30 minutes a day, two hours a week, one night a month, one weekend a year with each other
To assist you in accomplishing your goals, there’s a series of BINGO sheets with ideas and tasks to help you reach your goals.
Spend Time with Ty and Remix Ecology on a couples’ hike at the end of the month at Clark Creek State Park. In addition to the benefits of exploring nature, spending quality time together, trying new experiences, and working together to problem solve, hiking provides many positive attributes to our relationship. Going as a part of a guided tour removes precarious elements, like getting lost or recognizing safe plants and fruit. Couples can spend the weekend or coming up for the day based on their financial and time budget.
Finally, we will wrap up the month by discussing Marriage Be Hard, filled with common topics of concern in marriage.
We look forward to healthier, happier, and more whole marriages!
The tools presented here are for couples in healthy or struggling, not abusive relationships. There are resources available for people in abusive relationships. If you or someone you know needs help, please seek help.